Are you actually a criminal?

It's bloody cold at the moment in London so when I woke up with a jolt at 5am, covered in sweat, I knew something was up.

I was never going back to sleep so I got up, slumped down the stairs and turned the coffee machine on.

And then I remembered my dream.

And it all started coming back to me.

I don't know about you but I rarely remember dreams, and even when I do, I don't tend to think about them.

Despite being a psychologist, I do not believe that your dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you something.

And yet, here was my subconscious trying to tell me something.

There are of course classic dreams like falling forever, being chased by a pursuer who never gets tired (and bizarrely never actually catches you...), or all your teeth falling out (for real - google it).

For me, it’s a recurring nightmare of being in jail.

I’m a law-abiding chap—I’ve never even been close to trouble. But something about those dreams, the confinement, the fear of being misunderstood or falsely accused, gets under my skin.

And, if I’m honest, it does make me wonder...

What Does it All Mean?

First off, I know dreams aren't literal.

If they were, I'd be amazing at flying (without wings, like Superman) or regularly DJ'ing in front of thousands of adoring fans (maybe one day...).

Jail, in this context, probably isn’t about breaking the law. It’s more likely symbolic of something deeper.

And this is the bit where trying to analyse dreams is nonsense. You can layer anything that's vaguely happening in your current (waking) life and tie it back to some metaphor in to the dream.

I will plough on, nonetheless. This may be leading somewhere.

Being in jail could mean any of the following:

A Fear of Losing Freedom: Jail is the ultimate loss of autonomy. Am I feeling trapped or boxed in? Not that I know of. I don't have some nightmare boss who's making my life a living hell (unless you count my wife, lol).
Fear of Judgment: Being locked away is a powerful metaphor for feeling misunderstood or criticised unfairly. Am I worried what you're all thinking about these newsletters? Maybe, a bit. Or my music? Also maybe.
A Desire for Control: Jail can symbolise a fear of chaos or the unknown. Am I secretly a massive control freak? Errr...have you met me? Yes. Yes of course I am.
I'm a Criminal: That small middle class baggy in my pantry isn't actually baking powder but instead something to make my dinner party guests seems less boring.

So What?

Despite dreams being fantasy, if you do remember them, and start thinking about them, then the fears that you examine are more than likely real life actual concerns you're having.

And these underlying fears might still be sneaking into your daily habits.

Here’s how:

Overthinking: Do you catch yourself second-guessing even small decisions? That might be your inner alarm system working overtime to keep you “safe.”
Being Overly Cautious: Fear of jail might translate into a heightened sense of morality or an obsession with doing things “right.” While this can make you responsible, it can also be exhausting.
Social Anxiety: If you’re worried about being misunderstood, you might be overly careful about how you present yourself to others, always trying to avoid judgment.

Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone—this is surprisingly common.

How to Tackle These Fears

The good news? These dreams and their ripple effects are manageable. Here’s what’s worked for me:

Reality Check Your Dreams: Start by reminding yourself that dreams are just that—dreams. They’re your brain’s way of processing emotions, not predictions of the future.
Identify the Root Cause: Think about where you feel “trapped” in life. Is it your job? Relationships? Self-imposed expectations? Self awareness is half the battle.
Ease Up on Perfectionism: If you’re bending over backwards to avoid mistakes or judgement, give yourself permission to mess up once in a while. You’re human, not a robot.
Talk It Out: Journaling, meditating, or even chatting with a friend can help untangle the thoughts driving these dreams.

Dreams Are Messy, and That’s Okay

Here’s the thing: dreams are like your brain’s highlight reel of emotions, fears, and what-ifs.

Just because jail shows up in yours doesn’t mean you’re destined for it. At least, I hope not.

It’s your subconscious asking you to pay attention to something, and you’re already doing the hard part—listening.

So the next time you remember a dream, take a deep breath.

Remember, you’re not being judged or sentenced—it’s just your brain processing life.

But also remember, despite what I've said above, that sometimes, dreams do indeed become real. As I DJ this evening in front of an adoring crowd (consisting of my sister's drunk friends), I'm going to be grateful that it was the DJ dream making an appearance and not the one involving four walls and steel bars...

Happy dreaming,

Jon "DJ Khalid" Kaye

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