Are you actually a junkie?

I was taking the dog for a walk earlier this week. It was a beautiful afternoon. The sun was shining. I felt happy.

Half an hour later, and as far from home as I was planning to get, I noticed that the blue sky had gone. It was actually pretty dark.

The wind had started picking up and I even noticed some white horses on the Thames, which is unusual.

Five minutes later and I was in the middle of a storm. The kind of storm where trees fall down and people die.

I no longer felt that warm glow of happiness.

I was wet. Cold. And desperate for some shelter.

Almost as quickly as it arrived, however, the storm blew on past.

But my mood didn't go away quite so quickly. I didn't deserve to be this cold and wet. It had all been going so well.

So, as soon as I could, I dashed into my favourite coffee shop and destroyed a flat white/brownie combination.

And all was good with the world.

The combination of fat, sugar and caffeine (my drugs of choice) had lit up my brain like any junkie's out there.

They may not be class A drugs but the need for pleasure was just as strong. I felt shit and I wanted to feel better.

And I did feel better.

For a bit.

But it was clear to me, in that moment, that there's a big difference between happiness and pleasure.

I wasn’t (necessarily) happy but my diet killing snack made me full of pleasure.

These two concepts are thrown around like interchangeable puzzle pieces, but here’s the thing—they’re not the same.

And the more you mix them up, the further you drift from the life you actually want.

So, what are you really chasing? And are you just a junkie?

The Quick Fix

Pleasure is that instant dopamine hit.

It’s that rush you feel when you achieve a goal, buy something shiny, or indulge in a guilty snack (looking at you, late-night chocolate).

Pleasure is about the moment—winning the deal, hitting the gym PR, or scrolling through social media likes.

It’s tied to external rewards, and while it feels amazing, it’s also fleeting. As soon as the moment is over, the high fades, leaving you craving the next one.

It’s like chasing cars: thrilling but pointless. Just ask my dog, Coco.

The real issue? Pleasure has a sneaky way of making you believe it’s all you need. You think:

“If I can just land that promotion, lose those last ten pounds, or hit six figures, I’ll be happy.”

But here’s the trap: even when you get there, it’s never enough. The goalposts keep moving, and you’re stuck on a hamster wheel, chasing the next big hit.

Six figures isn’t enough. A million isn’t enough. Ten isn’t enough. As a great poet once said:

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat”

The Long Game

Now, happiness is a different beast. It’s not tied to external wins but to an internal state of being.

Unlike pleasure, happiness doesn’t rely on “fixing” something or reaching a milestone. Instead, it’s about being comfortable in your own skin, building meaningful relationships, and finding contentment in the ordinary moments.

Think about it: true happiness doesn’t come from the new car or promotion at work.

It comes from deeper, less tangible sources—like a conversation that makes you feel seen, the satisfaction of helping someone without expecting anything in return, or that quiet confidence that you’re living in line with your values.

Happiness is stable and sustainable. It’s not about the spikes; it’s about the baseline.

And the beauty is, it’s not as dependent on circumstance as we think.

People with wildly different incomes and lifestyles can have similar levels of happiness, because it’s not about what you have but about how you feel.

Are You Confused?

So, why do you keep chasing pleasure, thinking it’s happiness?

The answer lies in biology. Our brains are wired to crave dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for that “feel-good” sensation. Pleasure activities—checking off goals, eating dessert, receiving praise—release dopamine in short, intense bursts.

Happiness, on the other hand, is more tied to serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood stabilisation and long-term well-being. It builds gradually and doesn’t give you the same rush as pleasure.

In a world obsessed with instant gratification, happiness can feel… well, boring.

Add to that societal conditioning.

We’re taught that success = happiness.

Success is often measured by external markers: money, status, followers. But those are pleasure-based pursuits. They give us dopamine highs, not the deep satisfaction we’re truly after.

The Downside of Pleasure

Living a life dominated by pleasure sounds tempting—who wouldn’t want to feel good all the time? But here’s the catch: pleasure has diminishing returns.

The more you chase it, the less satisfying it becomes. That first glass of wine? Incredible. The fourth? Meh. And let’s not even get into the crash that follows. A pleasure-driven life can leave you feeling empty, always needing more to fill a void that never quite goes away.

It can also leave you disconnected. If your focus is on external achievements, you might miss the moments that actually matter—like spending time with loved ones or just enjoying a quiet Sunday morning.

So, How Do You Shift Toward Happiness?

If you’re ready to move off the dopamine hamster wheel and aim for something more fulfilling, here are some steps to consider:

1. Prioritise Relationships

Studies consistently show that strong relationships are the #1 predictor of happiness.

Invest in your people. Call that friend. Spend time with family. These connections create a sense of belonging and meaning that no achievement can replace.

2. Practice Gratitude

Happiness thrives on gratitude. Instead of fixating on what’s missing, take stock of what you already have. It’s a simple mindset shift that rewires your brain to focus on abundance instead of scarcity.

3. Find Joy in the Ordinary

Happiness isn’t about grand moments; it’s about the little things. A good cup of coffee. A walk outside. A kind word from a stranger. Train yourself to notice these moments and savor them.

4. Define Your Values

What truly matters to you? Is it creativity? Freedom? Connection? When you align your actions with your values, you’ll find a deeper sense of fulfillment—one that doesn’t depend on outside validation.

5. Detach from Outcomes

Goals are great, but don’t let them define you. Focus on the process instead of the result. It’s about who you become while working toward something, not just the final outcome.

The Takeaway

Pleasure is exciting, but it’s happiness that makes life meaningful. The former is about chasing, while the latter is about being.

After a weekend celebrating my sister's birthday, which involved a shit tonne of pleasure, I had two days of dopamine withdrawal and felt awful. To be honest, even though I don't drink, it felt like a 48 hour hangover.

It left me thinking that it wasn't the pleasure that was fun, it was the warm glow of happiness after time spent with friends and family.

So, the next time you’re tempted to chase a dopamine hit, ask yourself: Is this what I really want, or am I just filling a void? The answer might surprise you.

What’s your take on the happiness vs. pleasure debate? I’d love to hear your thoughts—reply to this email or share your perspective in the comments.

Stay happy,

Jon "Happiness" Kaye

P.S. My latest single "I Still Burn" was released yesterday and I think it's my best yet. If you would like to support me then click here to listen to it. And please save it to your favourite playlist and share it with anyone who you think might also like it. Thanks.