Be afraid. be very afraid

We seem to be afraid of everything these days:

• Answering the phone;
• Talking to another human (awkward!)
• Making eye contact on the tube;
• Reading a book;
• Spiders;
• the dark;
• etc etc

Every day, we come across situations that make us feel scared.

We usually take steps to avoid these situations, but what if we could transform this avoidance and embrace our fears? What would life be like then?

For example, I've recently started swimming again, inspired by the Olympic triathletes wading through the floaters in the Seine. Swimming is really boring though, so I bought some waterproof headphones and it's made me loads faster.

Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? I mean my anxiety is through the roof but my lap times are world class (come on, I'm hilarious!).

But seriously...

Embracing your fears, however big or small, can literally transform your life. Imagine being more confident and less anxious about everyday stresses and challenges.

It's actually pretty easy to do. By the time you've finished this article, I bet you'll feel better about your day ahead. And that's all I can ask.

Ready to dive in?

The Impact of Avoidance

Avoidance of fear is a natural human tendency. We shy away from tasks we’re unsure of, situations where success isn’t guaranteed, and areas outside our comfort zone.

This avoidance, while seemingly protective, has profound effects:

1. Life Shrinkage: We limit our experiences and opportunities, sticking to what feels safe.
2. Erosion of Self-Trust: Constant avoidance sends a message to ourselves that we are incapable, reducing our confidence.

This pattern, though common, isn’t immutable. By consciously choosing to face our fears, we can initiate a powerful transformation.

The Daily Practice of Facing Fears

With my Psychology hat on, it is worth trying to dedicate 10 minutes every day (starting right here, right now) to tackling something that scares you. Here’s how:

Step 1: Identify the Fear

Begin by pinpointing areas of resistance. These could be:

• Unanswered emails
• A book you’ve been meaning to start
• Physical exercise
• Creative projects
• Financial tasks
• Decluttering

You'll notice that these are not huge, scary fears. These aren't the "I'm worried I'm going to die" type fears. But these small everyday areas of avoidance or procrastination really add up and you'll be surprised how many of these tasks you are actually scared of doing.

Step 2: Take Small, Consistent Steps

Commit to small, manageable actions each day:

• Respond to one or two difficult emails
• Write 100 words for your book
• Take a short walk or run
• Draft a video script and share it with a friend
• Handle one or two financial tasks
• Clear a small section of clutter

The key is consistency. Small, daily steps build momentum and gradually reduce fear.

Step 3: Expand Yourself

Facing your fears regularly helps expand your capabilities and confidence. Over time, what once seemed daunting becomes manageable. You build trust in your ability to tackle challenges and embrace the unknown.

Step 4: Cultivate Confidence

As you continue this practice, you’ll develop a robust confidence. You learn to step into new situations without needing all the answers or guarantees of success. This newfound confidence is liberating and empowering.

Practical Example: Writing a Book

Writing a book can be overwhelming. By committing to writing just 100 words a day, I made steady progress without feeling burdened.

I also decided to write a mini book. Rather than take on a huge project, I've written a short (12,000 words or so) book on one specific topic - diet. Those of you who know me well know that I've experimented with every type of diet out there. I've fasted, done Keto, carnivore, low carb, counted calories, and I've lost weight every time. Turns out, though, that I'm really good at putting the weight back on too...

What I've come to realise that it's your mindset that is the most important thing when it comes to food. Get your mind in the right place and the rest is easy.

(If you're interested, you can get the book for $7 here)

This incremental approach kept me motivated and allowed me to enjoy the process rather than feeling daunted by the end goal.

The Science Behind Facing Fears

Neuroplasticity and Habit Formation

Our brains are incredibly adaptable. By repeatedly facing our fears, we can rewire our brains, making these once-daunting tasks feel more routine.

This concept, known as neuroplasticity, underscores the importance of consistent practice in overcoming fear.

The Stress Response

Facing fears activates the body’s stress response. With regular exposure, our tolerance for stress improves.

This process, called habituation, means that over time, the same stimuli elicit a reduced stress response, making us more resilient.

This practice can benefit all aspects of your life.

Psychological Benefits

Consistently facing fears can lead to numerous psychological benefits:

• Increased self-efficacy: Belief in our ability to handle challenges
• Enhanced emotional regulation: Better management of stress and anxiety
• Greater life satisfaction: A sense of achievement and personal growth.

Embracing the Unknown

One of the most profound outcomes of this daily practice is the ability to embrace the unknown.

Life is inherently uncertain, and our fear of the unknown can be paralysing. By regularly stepping into uncertainty, we cultivate a mindset of curiosity and adventure.

This shift in perspective can transform how we approach all aspects of life.

Actionable Steps for Your Journey

Ready to start your practice of facing fears? Here are some actionable steps to get you going:

1. Identify Your Fears: Take a moment to list areas where you feel resistance.
2. Set Daily Intentions: Dedicate at least 10 minutes each day to tackle these fears.
3. Start Small: Focus on small, manageable tasks to build momentum.
4. Track Your Progress: Keep a journal of your daily actions and reflections.

Conclusion

Facing fears is a powerful practice that can lead to significant change.

Having gone off-piste with a few of these newsletters, I thought I would dedicate this one to some psychology practices that are backed up by research and have been proven to work.

They also lead to enhanced "life engagement" apparently (whatever that means!).

Hope you found some of this helpful.

Cheers,

Jon "Fearless" Kaye