Greed is good

I was standing on the deck of an enormous boat as it pulled into the harbour. The sun was shining. The noise was insane.

I was a guest at the Monaco Grand Prix. I was 28 years old.

By then I was already married. In love. And in debt.

Buying our first flat. Living the life of the young. Travelling. Having fun. It was expensive.

Yet, on that particular day, surrounded by wealth and beauty (it was easy to spot the difference), I remember thinking that life was pretty good.

I was working hard but playing pretty hard too.

Just then, everyone on board turned around as a bigger yacht, with a huge mast, entered the harbour. It pulled up alongside us.

This thing was proper pretty. A sailboat, not the ultra modern stink boat that we were on.

As I leaned over the rails to stare at it, I caught sight of our host, the owner of the boat I was on. His face was thunder. Pure envy oozing from every crease in his face.

I turned to my boss who was standing next to me, “Why is he so pissed off?”

“Someone’s always got a bigger boat”, was the deadpan answer.

Rather than learning a valuable life lesson, I was inspired.

I remember thinking “I want to have the bigger boat.” No. Not just the bigger boat. The biggest boat in the harbour.

I wanted to see that same look of envy on the face of my peers, my friends, my family.

Greed is good my friend. And I was its slave.

Back in my small cubicle “office” in London, I doubled down on my life of ambition. I worked harder. I worked longer. Everyone in the office was a rival, not a colleague. I had to beat them all.

I forced my bosses to sit up and take notice.

I forced them to promote me. They had no choice. I was making them so much money.

There were sacrifices along the way.

Holidays were cancelled.

Friends’ weddings were missed.

I bought my first Ferrari when I was 30. An outward display of my success. A completely impractical, beautiful, noisy mistress.

But then I took it even further.

I decided to quit my well paid job to set up my own business. Why should I stick around making my bosses more and more money when I could have it all for myself?

I went from working in a modern air conditioned office, to a cramped loft space which was a sauna in the Summer and a freezer in the Winter.

Three of us were crammed into that small space trying to make a dream come alive. Three of us against the world.

Two years and 200,000 air miles later, over 200 investors had told us to fuck off.

But, crucially, enough investors had also said "yes". So we opened our new office at a cool location in Covent Garden.

You won’t remember me much from this period of my life because I wasn’t there. Always out. Out of the country. Or in the office.

My office.

My team.

My business.

I mean I wasn’t a tyrant or an asshole (though some of my team may disagree), I was just totally driven. Insanely driven. Chasing the uncatchable. Reaching for that bigger boat.

But something wasn’t right. As I kept striving for more, I kept wanting more.

It took me 13 years to remember that moment back on the boat.

To understand what it really meant.

Great Expectations

You see happiness doesn’t come from more. It doesn’t come from growth or drive or ambition...or money.

Your happiness depends on your expectations more than anything else.

A core life skill, perhaps THE most important life skill, is getting the goal posts to stop moving.

This is very difficult to do, as I know all too well.

Over time, our quality of life tends to keep going up. Less disease. Longer life expectancy. Better technology.

But people's expectations also go up by just as much, if not more, because those improvements also benefit the people around you. And you look to them to anchor your life.

"If we only wished to be happy, that would be easy; but we wish to be happier than other people. And we think others are happier than they are." Montesquieu, 1750

There is no such thing as objective wealth. Everything is relative.

Everyone does it. Everyone looks around and thinks, "What do other people like me have?"

One of the great dangers of social media is that we can now compare ourselves to our peers through a curated highlight reel of their lives, where the negatives are hidden from view.

And this creates envy.

Some envy is good. Some greed is good. It can be a powerful motivator.

But a higher income, more wealth, a bigger house - it's all quickly smothered by expectations.

A New Dawn

I woke up drenched in sweat. It was 2.30am. I opened my eyes and lay there, staring at the ceiling.

I got up, went downstairs to the kitchen and fired up the laptop. I was in the middle of a deal and the owner of the business I was trying to buy was being a real asshole.

I'd been writing an email in my sleep. An aggressive, fuck you type of email that might well have killed the deal, but would make me feel better. Especially then. In the middle of the night.

I started typing furiously. But then I stopped mid sentence.

I was suddenly back on that boat in Monaco. It was so clear. I could feel the sun on my skin. I could smell the sea. That beautiful yacht was pulling up next to us.

I was still chasing it, a decade later.

And, sat there in the kitchen, it hit me.

I didn't want it any more.

I'd wasted too much time already on a pointless quest. There was no more time to lose.

So instead of sending the original email, I wrote another one.

To my fellow founders.

And I quit.

Don't Move the Goalposts

I’m not 25 anymore. But I am still married, 25 years later. And still in love.

I don’t have any debt now. Less ambition. And far less greed.

I’m also a much nicer person.

And much happier.

Would I change anything?

No.

I am who I am now because of my choices. And I like who I am now.

But would I do it again?

No.

I'm trying really hard to make my kids get this. They won't listen, of course. They won't understand. They just see that bigger boat. Shoved in their faces every day on Instagram.

But if they can keep a check on their expectations, they’ll be richer than most people on this planet.

Jon “Gordon Gekko” Kaye