I'm so wasted, man

There’s something magic about live events.

The raw, unfiltered energy of it all. Whether it’s sport or music, nothing compares to being there in the crowd. I love watching human beings push themselves (or each other) to the edge of their abilities.

And I go to live events all the time because of this.

There are no scripts, no re-takes. You get to see a performance, mistakes and all. And that’s what gives it its emotional punch.

I was lucky enough to see Oasis live this Summer and relive a part of my youth. I last saw them live 20 years ago and I'm a big, know all the words, kind of fan.

The gig was amazing.

The only slight blot on the evening was the bloke next to me. He was so drunk that he could barely stand. He kept trying to hug me (so at least he was a friendly drunk).

By the end of the evening, though, he wasn’t even watching the band. He was just slumped on his seat, head between his legs. Out cold.

Now, maybe he’d say he had a great time. But for me, he missed the main event. Was that actually fun for him? Will he remember the music, the atmosphere, the energy of an amazing night?

Or will he just wake up with a headache and some blurry photos?

Golf And a Pint

A few weeks before that, it was live golf. A crisp, sunny morning. 10am. Fresh air, early tee times, the slow-build tension of tournament golf.

And then along came a group of middle-aged men, pints in hand. It was 10am.

By midday I saw them again, swaying and shouting at the players and their golf balls ("In the hole!", "You're the man!"). All of it fuelled by lager. It was like a stag do had accidentally wandered onto a fairway.

Was that the experience they came for?

Where’s the Line?

I’m not anti-drinking. Far from it. A drink with friends, a night at the pub, a proper knees-up. There’s a time and a place for a pint.

(Side note: it is worth pointing out that I'm teetotal these days, so if you want to interpret this week's rant as coming from someone desperate for a pint and a good time, then that is your choice and maybe not so wide of the mark. Anway, back to the rant...)

But increasingly, I find myself wondering why live sport and music, these incredible spectacles in their own right, need to come with mandatory drinking attached.

And it’s not just the occasional beer. It’s a need to drink. A belief that enjoyment hinges on it. That watching without it is somehow... incomplete.

I've been to live international rugby where a significant portion of the crowd willingly miss the first 20 mins of the match in order to stay in the queue for the bar.

They have travelled to the ground, paid for the ticket, queued to get in. And then they choose to miss the actual event to get a pint of Guinness that they could have, in any pub, on any day they like.

We don’t seem to do this in other areas of life. You wouldn’t get drunk before the theatre (well, most wouldn’t). You wouldn’t turn up to a kids’ football match half-cut. But give us a stadium and suddenly alcohol becomes the main act.

Why is that?

Is It About Escape?

Part of it, I suspect, is cultural.

In the UK, alcohol is tied deeply to celebration and to letting go. We use it to mark the end of the working week or just to loosen up.

At gigs and sporting events, there’s already an emotional charge. Alcohol amplifies that. So it can make the highs feel higher. Suddenly strangers feel like mates. You become part of a tribe of strangers.

It’s easy to see the appeal.

But there’s a difference between having a pint with the experience and the drink becoming the experience.

Some people seem to go to gigs just to drink in a new location. The music is incidental. Sport becomes background noise. The actual event (the thing they paid for) is secondary.

And when that’s the case, are they really chasing enjoyment? Or chasing escape?

The Cost of Missing Out

This is not FOMO, this is something new. I'm calling it COMO.

When you’re drinking heavily at a live event, what are you really experiencing? Are you soaking it in, or numbing it out?

Think about the guy at the Oasis gig. He missed most of the evening. Or the blokes at the golf course who’ll probably remember the bar more than the birdies.

We pay good money for these experiences. We travel. We queue. We care. And yet we willingly dull the senses we need most to enjoy them.

Is that worth it? What is the COMO (lol)?

Is It Just Me?

This isn’t merely a rant. It’s more a reflection. I’ve done my share of drinking at events. I’ve been the guy holding a plastic cup of warm lager at 3pm on a wet Saturday. But lately, I’ve started to value the clarity of just being there. Sober. Engaged. In the moment.

I hear the details. I notice the dynamics. I remember things. I don’t lose track of time. And I don’t end the night with a spinning head and an Uber I barely recall booking.

I realised a few years ago that I don’t need alcohol to enhance the experience. The experience is already the high point for me.

Maybe It’s Time for a Shift

I'm not suggesting we ban booze at events. That would be joyless and unrealistic. But I am wondering whether we need to reframe what “fun” looks like.

Is fun really about losing control? Or is it about being present for something rare and remarkable?

Do we really need three pints to cheer on our team? Or could we, bear with me here, actually enjoy the sport for what it is?

What if we gave ourselves permission to experience these things fully without the fog of alcohol?

So next time you’re heading to a game or a gig, just ask yourself: what am I really here for? Because if the answer is “the moment,” then maybe it’s worth remembering it in the morning.

Until next time,

Jon "the nominated driver" Kaye

Finding meaning in music

P.S.

If you want a non-alcoholic beer suggestion that tastes great (and believe me, I'm an expert), try this. Available from Ocado and other UK supermarkets. It's really very good.