This Shit is Terrifying

I woke up at 4am the other day.

Nothing unusual there. Turn over. Close your eyes and go back to sleep for a few more hours.

Except 30 mins later, I was still awake. Wide awake.

So I got up.

I could feel my wife rolling her eyes at me through the darkness.

Idiot.

You'll be exhausted later.

And she was right. I was.

But as I sat there shivering in our kitchen, hours before the heating kicked in, on a frozen February morning, I wondered what the hell was I doing?

And I don't mean, a big existential, oh my God, what is the point of all this, type crisis.

Just a sort of, what am I doing up at this time of day, type crisis.

I'm fortunate enough not to have much stress in my life.

I don't drink.

I'm not unwell.

I'm not trying to juggle 3 different secret families.

So why the insomnia?

It wasn't clear at the time, but I think it's probably because I've been asked to do something which scares the shit out of me.

This is Terrifying

Putting something out into the world is one of the scariest things you can do.

If it's something 'creative' (a book, a song, a video, a painting etc), then shit gets real.

You're exposing an inner piece of yourself, something you’ve imagined and shaped with love, care, craft and toil.

And then you just send it out into the world saying, 'here, world, what do you think?' And the world always has an opinion.

With facts and figures, there’s certainty. Two plus two is four. No debate. No risk. But with creative work? There’s no objective truth.

You might think you’ve created something brilliant, but there’s always the chance that the response will be… underwhelming. Or worse—brutal.

That’s enough to keep a lot of creative people stuck in the shadows, notebooks full, hard drives stacked with unfinished projects, songs never uploaded, ideas never shared.

The fear of rejection, of failure, of being seen can be enough to stop things before they even start.

But here’s the truth: If you never share your work, it may as well not exist.

The Creativity-Resilience Dichotomy

There’s something unfair about how creativity works. The people most drawn to it—writers, musicians, artists, thinkers—are often the least equipped to handle the reactions it provokes.

Creativity demands sensitivity. You need to feel deeply, think differently, notice things others miss. But resilience? That’s a whole different skill set. Thick skin, detachment, the ability to hear “this is rubbish” and not let it destroy you.

And those two traits—creativity and resilience—don’t always come together. In fact, they rarely do.

Which is why you see so many brilliant people second-guessing themselves, holding back, hesitating. They can imagine a world where their work is mocked or ignored, and they don’t want to live in that world.

So they keep their best ideas to themselves.

The Final (and the Hardest) Step

The hardest part of creativity isn’t the brainstorming, the drafting, the refining.

It’s pressing publish.

It’s hitting send.

It’s standing back and letting the world take what you’ve made and do whatever it wants with it. That loss of control?

That’s terrifying.

That’s why most creative work never leaves the safety of the creator’s mind. It’s easier to live with the idea of success than to risk the reality of failure.

A song that’s never released can always be a potential hit. A book that’s never shared could always be a masterpiece in theory.

But the second it’s out in the world? It’s open to judgment. And that’s where a lot of people get stuck.

So What To Do?

Put it out anyway.

Remind yourself that every great creator—every writer, musician, filmmaker, artist—has faced rejection, criticism, and failure.

And they kept going.

Not because they were fearless, but because they refused to let fear win.

Accept that some people won’t like your work. Some won’t get it. Some will dismiss it.

But that’s not the point. The point is to create. To share. To push past the fear and do it anyway.

Because on the other side of that fear is something far worse: regret.

The regret of never knowing. The regret of keeping your best ideas locked away. The regret of wondering what if?

So if you’ve got something creative inside you—an idea, a project, a story, a song—stop waiting for permission.

Stop waiting for the fear to disappear. It won’t.

But you can move forward anyway. And that’s what matters.

Until next time.

Jon "the artist" Kaye

P.S. My own 'scary' creative project will become clearer over the coming months. I am way outside my comfort zone. Whether I can conquer those fears, and create something worth sharing, only time will tell. And you'll be the first to know.

P.P.S. If you fancy helping me out on a separate ongoing project, I'm looking to collect some voice recordings answering two simple questions: "What is creativity?" and "Do you think you're creative?". If you want to participate then reply to this email attaching a short 30-60 second voice recording. Your recording may be used in a musical composition but will remain anonymous.

P.P.P.S. My new single "I Keep on Driving" came out last week and it's doing well. Please share it with everyone you know!