'Twas The Week Before Christmas

The week before Christmas is that odd little pocket of time when things slow down.

People have a chance to get reflective. Social feeds fill up with “year in review” posts, Spotify wraps up our listening history, and newsletters lean into big themes: What did we learn? What will we do differently next year?

Last weekend, I was supposed to be at a university reunion.

Well, not supposed to be, exactly, but the invitation was there. Everyone in my year gets together every five years. We go back to the old university town, pile into a pub, compare faces and stories, and try to bridge the gap between who we were then and who we are now. This year marked 30 years since we graduated.

I didn’t go.

I’ve never gone. And every time one of these reunions rolls around, someone always asks me why.

The short answer? I just don’t feel the need.

The longer answer is what I’ve been thinking about this week. And maybe it’s useful for you too, especially as we head into this season of nostalgia and reflection.

Honouring the Past, But Not Living In It

That time in my life, my university years, was brilliant. It was joyful, intense, full of people who shaped me and experiences that still echo in my life today. But that was then. I’m not who I was in 1995. And neither is anyone else.

The idea of going back just doesn’t interest me.

Of course I’m curious. But I’m also clear about what matters to me. I already keep up with the people who matter to me from that time. The ones I still speak to regularly, who’ve stayed in my life not because we once happened to share a lecture hall, but because we’ve chosen to keep showing up for each other.

Those are the people who form part of my world today.

Could it be fun to see how everyone has aged? What they’ve ended up doing? Possibly. But it’s not especially relevant. If I haven’t felt the need to stay connected for 30 years, I doubt a pub catch-up will change that.

This Isn’t About Regret

It’s not that I don’t remember those days fondly. I do. They shaped me. They set the course. But I’m far more interested in where I’m standing now and where I’m heading next.

Because at this point in the year, my thoughts don’t go back 30 years. They look ahead 12 months.

I find myself wondering: what’s the version of me that turns up next December going to care about? Who’s going to be in my corner? What am I going to be proud of? What might I wish I’d started now?

Those are the questions that keep me moving forward. There’s always something to grow into. Something new to build.

And I think we all need a bit of that right now.

So What?

If there’s one thing the end of the year reminds me of, it’s that our lives are not static. We’re not defined by who we were at 20, or even who we were this time last year. We change. We learn. We move.

And that movement matters.

It matters more than the highlight reels and the neatly packaged reflections. It matters more than the pressure to catch up with every old friend or revisit every milestone.

So if you’re tempted to look back this week, by all means do. But don’t stop there.

Because the good stuff is still unfolding ahead of you. The people who matter most are probably not sitting in a university bar reliving 1995. They’re the ones around your table now. The ones cheering you on in real time.

Hold on to them.

And hold space for the future version of you you haven’t met yet. The one who’ll be grateful you kept going.

Merry Christmas.

Until next time,

Jon "ho ho ho" Kaye

Choosing to live more deliberately

P.S.

If you're feeling Christmassy, then do check out my Christmas song, This is Where You Belong